Kiss My Ass, Pedophile... or Why I Will Not Take My Family to Visit my Mom and Her Husband.
You know how much I hate those people who start a blog with one post and then never follow through? Well, I worried I was in danger of becoming of of them...and then my mother emailed me and the inspiration to write was re-awakened within me.
My mother is married to a pedophile. There's no pretty way to talk about that. I can't sugar-coat it. She lives a few hours away and is welcome to visit us (read, her granddaughter) anytime (well, with limits). But there's no way in hell we are going to visit her (and him) there. She was informed of this fact (his exclusion from our lives) long before said granddaughter's conception. And yet she keeps pushing him into our lives. For instance, he unexpectedly showed up at our daughter's first birthday party.
And now, mom is making not-so-subtle remarks about looking forward to when we can send Maia to her house for a visit by herself. Hear me now, mother: NOT GOING TO HAPPEN. EVER.
Also, she has invited us all down to her house for a visit. And so I have been forced to once again open the big, dark, ugly, squirmy bag of worms and explain all over again that he will have no part in our daughter's life. These boundaries are for our girl's sfety and our peace of mind. And it's just silly for my mom to not understand this fact.
I guess I'm bothering to write all this out to reassure myself that I am doing the right thing here. I feel at this point ready to sacrifice my relationship with my mom over this point, and while that seems harsh or sad, it has to be this way. She is married to a (at best) untrustworthy fellow and (at worst) a dangerous man who has committed a most heinous crime on his own child. I want no part of his life. My mom can not have both.
My mother is married to a pedophile. There's no pretty way to talk about that. I can't sugar-coat it. She lives a few hours away and is welcome to visit us (read, her granddaughter) anytime (well, with limits). But there's no way in hell we are going to visit her (and him) there. She was informed of this fact (his exclusion from our lives) long before said granddaughter's conception. And yet she keeps pushing him into our lives. For instance, he unexpectedly showed up at our daughter's first birthday party.
And now, mom is making not-so-subtle remarks about looking forward to when we can send Maia to her house for a visit by herself. Hear me now, mother: NOT GOING TO HAPPEN. EVER.
Also, she has invited us all down to her house for a visit. And so I have been forced to once again open the big, dark, ugly, squirmy bag of worms and explain all over again that he will have no part in our daughter's life. These boundaries are for our girl's sfety and our peace of mind. And it's just silly for my mom to not understand this fact.
I guess I'm bothering to write all this out to reassure myself that I am doing the right thing here. I feel at this point ready to sacrifice my relationship with my mom over this point, and while that seems harsh or sad, it has to be this way. She is married to a (at best) untrustworthy fellow and (at worst) a dangerous man who has committed a most heinous crime on his own child. I want no part of his life. My mom can not have both.
posted by Mama Mia at 8:00 AM
2 Comments:
"Trust in god, but row away from the rocks."
-Hunter S. Thompson
You're definitely doing the right thing. You have to protect your daughter. Your mom is obviously in denial and possibly suffers from some kind of mental disorder that requries medical attention. she doesn't realize that you are doing whats best for your child, which probably results from some brainwashing her husband is doing on her thinking. This is common that a pedohile is smooth talking and has a way of persuasion that is very powerful. He probably has some "good" attributes that your mom sees and this fogs her judgement of him plus the fact that shes married to him so this is makes her objectivity more complex. Your mom needs help. Keep protecting your little girl and anyone else in the family from this pedophile. They cannot control their urges and will act impulsively on them if given the opportunity...dont give him any chance...EVER!
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