Decisions, decisions...

Here's an article that may interest anyone who studies decision theory or who has ever given much thought to the decision making process. Certainly I have been obsessed with that lately and have put a lot of thought into the 'right way' to approach the big decisions my husband and I are making right now.

Basically, the gist is that for the most complex decisions (with lots of factors, options, etc.) poeple tend to make better decisions (i.e. be happier with them in the long run) when they gather all the information, go do something else for awhile, and then make their decision. In other words, following our gut is a lot more helpful in the long run.

However, the opposite seems to be true when making a simpler decision. When fewer factors are involved, (say choosing the best writing utensil at Office Max...oooh, or choosing the best weekly planner, now that's a decision!) it's best to carefully weigh the pros and cons and make a more rational decision.

I find this incredibly fascinating. (Of course I do, why I else would I bother posting?)

Kiss My Ass, Pedophile... or Why I Will Not Take My Family to Visit my Mom and Her Husband.

You know how much I hate those people who start a blog with one post and then never follow through? Well, I worried I was in danger of becoming of of them...and then my mother emailed me and the inspiration to write was re-awakened within me.

My mother is married to a pedophile. There's no pretty way to talk about that. I can't sugar-coat it. She lives a few hours away and is welcome to visit us (read, her granddaughter) anytime (well, with limits). But there's no way in hell we are going to visit her (and him) there. She was informed of this fact (his exclusion from our lives) long before said granddaughter's conception. And yet she keeps pushing him into our lives. For instance, he unexpectedly showed up at our daughter's first birthday party.

And now, mom is making not-so-subtle remarks about looking forward to when we can send Maia to her house for a visit by herself. Hear me now, mother: NOT GOING TO HAPPEN. EVER.

Also, she has invited us all down to her house for a visit. And so I have been forced to once again open the big, dark, ugly, squirmy bag of worms and explain all over again that he will have no part in our daughter's life. These boundaries are for our girl's sfety and our peace of mind. And it's just silly for my mom to not understand this fact.

I guess I'm bothering to write all this out to reassure myself that I am doing the right thing here. I feel at this point ready to sacrifice my relationship with my mom over this point, and while that seems harsh or sad, it has to be this way. She is married to a (at best) untrustworthy fellow and (at worst) a dangerous man who has committed a most heinous crime on his own child. I want no part of his life. My mom can not have both.

Where I'd like to be

A beginning

So here I am. My husband nagged me into this. (or at least I'm blaming him.)
First task: decide which blog template best defines me as a person. Drumroll please...the "plain jane"!!

Now that that has been decided (along with the agonizing decisions regarding the blog name* and my posting signoature) I can get on with the work at hand.

*By the way, it's so annoying to pick out the best name only to find out some other schmuck has already thought of it and is not actively using their damn blog in the first place.

So what is the work at hand, you ask? Well, primarily this is for me (that's what they all say, right? But secretly we all hope for a small but loyal group of anonymous blog fans [blans?] who will read us faithfully). So the piece of this that is for me is to process my life's work as a mother, wife, and social worker. Also, currently, our family is in a crisis of indecision which pretty much takes up all my mind's energy when it isn;t actively engaged in something else. So I feel like I need a sounding board for the ever-changing perspectives in my mind.

Also, I hope to figue out things like how to link to articles and other sites (so I can share with my audience of one.)